Sajnos tény, hogy sok netes randi végződik kudarccal. A csodaszernek hitt ismerkedési fajta sem teszi könnyebbé és sikeresebbé az emberek párkeresési akcióit. Jópáran azért regisztrálnak, mert egyes ismerőseik itt jöttek össze párjukkal, így – mint bizonyított eljárást – ők is ki akarják próbálni. ?m arról már nagyon ritkán szól a fáma, hogy a jó párkapcsolatig mennyi kellemetlen és felesleges randit kellett átvészelni!
Most a férfiak számára szeretnék egy kis összefoglalót adni a lányok viselkedéséből és kijelentéseiből, hogy tudják mikor nem érdemes tovább erőltetni az udvarlást.
A fiúk esetében az merül fel fő kérdésként, hogy miért nem csörrög rájuk a leány javasolva egy következő randi időpontját: sajnos eddig nem terjed az egyenjogúság mozgalma és nem akarják átvenni a hímektől a piszkos munkát. Hanem
- miért nem veszi fel, ha hívja s aztán miért nem csörrög vissza?
- miért kap 1-2 nappal és kudarcos hívással később egy kikosarazó sms-t vagy emailt??
Nos, röviden és egyszerűen azért, mert a nagyon kevés kivételtől eltekintve a nők nem szeretnek szemtől-szembe konfrontálódni és a teljesen negatív véleményüket a másik arcába vágni. A nők inkább fúrnak-faragnak valakinek a háta mögött, taktikáznak és úgy formálják a szitukat, hogy az illetô rájöjjön: nem kivánatos a személye.
Egy szinte vadidegen srác, aki az első randin nem váltja be a reményeket, nem fogja a szemébe kapni, hogy “ne haragudj, de ne találkozzunk többet!”. Ez túl direkt, ez túl bántó, fôleg akkor, ha nagyon kedvesen, udvariasan viselkedett. Van még annyi lelkiismeret a mai emberekben (lányokban), ha valaki velük szemben udvarias, finom modorú és próbál a kedvükben járni, akkor azt nem döfik hátba késsel, nem szándékoznak megbántani. Ilyenkor jön a majd hívlak szöveg. S persze nem. A srác pár nap után – nagy balga kíváncsiságában – felhívja, nyomul, mert nem ért a finom szavakból s jelzésekből. (Semmi gond, mert a férfiak nagy többsége csak az egyenes fogalmazásból ért, csak a mondatok első és legkézenfekvôbb jelentéstartalmát érti!) A telefon süket lesz, az üzenetekre nincs válasz.
Pár – viszonylag – egyértelmű reakció, válasz, mondat a lányok részéről, amelyek azt sejtetik, hogy nem nyertük el szimpátiájukat és szívüket, s a randi kudarccal zárult:
(Mivel itt igazából csak a fantázia és a megélt tapasztalatok szabnak gátat a variációk számának – én pedig szeretnék minél teljesebb képet összeállítani az erre szoruló hímnemû userek számára – így nagyon szívesen várom az olvasóktól a már megélt, megtapasztalt eseteket, hogy azokat beépíthessem az alábbi felsorolásba!)
- A nagy klasszikus: S mikor találkozunk legközelebb? – Majd beszéljünk telcsin…
- Fizetésnél a nő ragaszkodik a saját fogyasztásának a kifizetéséhez (nem szeretne adós maradni ill. azt a képzetet kelteni a fiúban, hogy meghívatta magát miközben már tudta, hogy nem akar semmit)
- Beszélgetés közben sűrűn nézelődik körbe-körbe
- Nagyon röviden, tömören válaszol a kérdéseinkre
- Ha mi mosolygunk, jókedélyű beszélgetéssel próbálkozunk, ő faarccal ül
- Hirtelen az előre megbeszélt beülős kávézgatást megváltoztatja pl. sétára
- Nem igazából néz a szemünkbe
- Szinte egyáltalán nem tesz fel kérdést
- Lábát és karját ülés közben keresztbe fonja
- Mindössze 15-20 perc után hirtelen eszébe jut egy sürgős teendő-elintéznivaló-találkozó
- A rutinosabb lányok felhívatják magukat egy barátnőjükkel és ha kellemetlen a randi, akkor erre a váratlan hívásra hivatkozva lelépnek
- A randi végén nem vagy csak hosszas rábeszélés után engedi, hogy elkísérjük kocsijához/buszmegállójához
- Miután elváltunk nem int búcsút, nem néz vissza ránk s nem mosolyog
E fenti – még nem teljes – felsorolásból ha csak egy történik meg, még lehet esélyünk, ám egyszerre több jelenség előfordulása esetén már elkönyvelhetjük a kudarcot és – ha csak nem szeretjük a megalázást és a kellemetlen helyzeteket – kihúzhatjuk a lány telefonszámát, hogy még véletlenül, egy gyenge pillanatunkban nehogy felhívjuk!
újabb változat:
-legközelebbi randira eljön : egy barátjával, s esetleg be is mutatja:))
“Fizetésnél a nő ragaszkodik a saját fogyasztásának a kifizetéséhez (nem szeretne adós maradni ill. azt a képzetet kelteni a fiúban, hogy meghívatta magát miközben már tudta, hogy nem akar semmit)”
ez nem igaz
pro és kontra tapasztalatom is van
“Hirtelen az előre megbeszélt beülős kávézgatást megváltoztatja pl. sétára”
ez sem igaz
Elef! Ha hozzáfűznivalód van, akkor 2 dolgot ajánlok: olvasd el kicsit figyelmesebben a cikket ill. fejtsd ki jobban a véleményed, hogy mindenki lássa miért is gondolkodsz úgy, ahogy!
Szóval, ahogy írtam:
“E fenti – még nem teljes – felsorolásból ha csak egy történik meg, még lehet esélyünk, ám egyszerre több jelenség előfordulása esetén már elkönyvelhetjük a kudarcot és – ha csak nem szeretjük a megalázást és a kellemetlen helyzeteket – kihúzhatjuk a lány telefonszámát, hogy még véletlenül, egy gyenge pillanatunkban nehogy felhívjuk!”
Csak 1 jelenségnél még bőven lehet véletlen avagy szerencsétlen szitu és akarhat minket a lány! Többnél egyszerre van para!
Minden alól van kivétel, de ha valami megtörténik 100x és az ellenkezője 1x, akkor a 100 lesz az igaz!
Előfordult már párszor, hogy a megbeszélt helyet messziről nézte,
mikor észrevett, csendesen szó nélkül távozott. Én meg hűségesen
vártam a …”naplementét”…! Olyan is volt, hogy a randin minden baj volt: – A villamos miért sárga, az aszfalt miért fekete…stb.
Amikor már nem volt “fontos” téma, köszönés és irány haza!
Elgondolkodtató!!!
Tetszik az írásod. Én sem szívesen mondanám egy férfinek a szemébe, hogy ne haragudj, nem ilyen lovat akartam, de biztosan nem beszélek meg fix időpontot randira, a számlámat magam fizetem, nem engedem, hogy rám terítse a zakóját, ha fázom, hozzámérjen és mindenképp megtartom a távolságot. Ha ezeket a jeleket nem érti, akkor én sem fogadom a hívását illetve csak egy elutasító sms-sel válaszolok (persze kedves hangúval).
Hehe… visszatekintve netes társkeresős pályafutásomra, a lista összes elemével találkoztam már…
Valahogy a nők nem tudják megérteni, hogy mi, buta férfiak csak az egyértelmű üzeneteket értjük, az utalgatás NEM MŰKÖDIK!
Amúgy részemről ezt a “kámforrá válok” módszert nagyon utálom. Attól már sokkal többre tartok egy olyan lányt, aki legalább egy “bocs, kár a gőzért” SMS-t küld.
Nagyon érdekes és roppant tanulságos ezeket a jeleket így összegyüjtve látni. Magam is találkoztam egyikkel-másikkal. Sehogy nem kellemes rádöbbenni, hogy lapáton vagyunk. Azt hiszem, talán az a megoldás, ha megegyeznek a “kísérletezők, hogy az első randin nem dől el semmi, és ha létrejön a második randi, akkor onnantól működik a dolog. Ja, és ha bármelyik részről(!) nem kívánatos a kapcsolat, akkor nemet lehet mondani a második randi kérelemre indoklás nélkül. ?gy nincs ígéret, nincs felelősség, nincs bűntudat, nincs sumákolás. Nem kell hűvösen, elutasítóan viselkedni első alkalommal; fel lehet fogni, mint egy kellemes csevegést, laza időtöltést. Próbáljátok ki! :-)
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